


You're Worth It

by CelesteFitzgerald



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Dates, M/M, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-15 22:35:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17537615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelesteFitzgerald/pseuds/CelesteFitzgerald
Summary: Remus has been looking forward to his first date with Sirius, but now that the time has arrived his nerves start kicking in - and it doesn't help that he keeps accidentally messing things up. Maybe this whole thing was a mistake - and besides, what could Sirius ever see in him, anyway?





	You're Worth It

The Marauders walked through Hogsmeade, their muscle memory taking them toward Zonko’s Joke Shop, but two of the four of them had other plans. “You’re sure you don’t want to come with?” James asked.

“Yeah, Remus and I will meet you back here later,” said Sirius. James and Peter were under the impression that Remus and Sirius would be going to Honeydukes to look for sweets that could be used in their upcoming pranks—which wasn’t a _complete_ lie. They probably _would_ be stopping by Honeydukes; it just wouldn’t be their primary destination.

“Okay. Buy something extra for me,” James said as he and Peter rushed off to get out of the cold as quickly as possible…

…Which left Remus and Sirius alone.

Unsure of what to do next, Remus looked at Sirius. He had been looking forward to their first date all week, but now that the time had finally arrived it occurred to him that they hadn’t discussed what they would actually be doing.

Sirius caught his gaze and smiled. “So, um…where do you want to go?” Sirius asked. “I thought we could just walk around and talk for a bit first, but it’s a lot colder than I thought it would be.”

“It’s winter, what exactly were you expecting?” Remus laughed.

“Right. Sorry,” Sirius said, dropping the eye contact.

Silence fell over them, and Remus wondered what they were waiting for until he realized he hadn’t answered Sirius’s question. “We could…we could just go to Honeydukes like we said we would—buy something for James so he doesn’t complain later.”

“Okay. Let’s get that out of the way,” Sirius said as he started walking toward the store. Was his voice…colder than normal? Remus was probably just over-thinking it, but something sounded off. Maybe he shouldn’t have suggested that they start their first date by going shopping for someone else.

 _Great_ , Remus thought. He was only one minute into a date with the cleverest, most attractive boy in school and he had already messed it up—not that that was much of a surprise.

“Are you cold?” Sirius asked suddenly.

Now that Sirius had brought it to his attention, Remus realized that he was indeed shivering. “A bit.”

Sirius paused and thought for a moment. “Here, I can….” He trailed off and started unbuttoning his coat.

“N-no!” Remus said. “Keep your coat. I’m fine. We’ll be inside soon, anyway.” Sirius shouldn’t have to freeze just because Remus couldn’t handle the weather—and as nice as the gesture was, Remus wasn’t in the mood to deal with the extra stares that would surely come from the jacket-sharing.

Sirius gave him a strange look that Remus couldn’t quite identify. “Okay. As long as you’re fine.”

Well, Remus had really messed it up now. He wasn’t trying to be rude, but Sirius probably thought he was. If he had just accepted Sirius’s coat, it could have made up for his first mistake instead of making it worse.

They continued walking—in silence, once again—and finally made it to Honeydukes. “Wow, that’s—”

“Crowded, yeah,” Sirius finished. On the bright side, they certainly wouldn’t have any trouble staying warm surrounded by all that body heat. They approached the door, and Sirius held it open for Remus. “After you,” he said with a grin and a flourish of his arm.

“Why, thank you,” Remus laughed as he entered the shop. They had only been inside for a few seconds, but the crowd was already making it difficult to move. “Let’s buy something quickly and leave,” Remus said.

Sirius nodded and led the way through the crowd. When they made it to the Chocolate Frog display, Sirius grabbed four and held them up to Remus for his approval. Now that they were in agreement, they tried to make their way to the front to pay.

A young wizard ran between them suddenly, bumping into Sirius as he passed. On instinct, Remus reached for Sirius’s hand to steady him. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, glancing down at their hands. Remus was about to let go when Sirius squeezed his hand back and kept walking toward the front. He hoped that his hand wasn’t too sweaty, but in the warmth of the store he knew Sirius couldn’t blame him if it was.

Once they made it to the front, they dropped hands as Sirius started to pay.

“We can split the cost,” Remus interrupted.

“No, don’t worry about it,” Sirius said.

“C’mon, Sirius, I’ll get the other half.”

“No.” Sirius must have realized how harsh that sounded because he added, “I mean, please just let me pay.”

Remus bit his lip. “Fine.” He still didn’t understand why they couldn’t split the cost. After all, weren’t they _both_ giving the chocolate to James?

With their purchase in hand, Sirius rushed through the exit and back into the cold, and Remus followed. Sirius reached into the bag and pulled out one of the Chocolate Frogs. “Here,” he said, holding it out to Remus. “This one’s for you.”

“Really?” Remus asked. “Thank you,” he smiled, trying not to feel too guilty about almost ruining Sirius’s surprise for him by asking to pay for it. “Do you want a bite?” Remus offered to make up for it.

“Nope, it’s for you,” Sirius said, lightly bumping their shoulders together.

“Okay,” Remus said, unwrapping the frog and holding it out to Sirius anyway.

Sighing, Sirius leaned over and took a bite. Remus smiled and started eating the rest. They looked at the Chocolate Frog card while they continued walking, the awkwardness from before momentarily forgotten. All things considered, Remus was having a good time with Sirius, and he hoped Sirius was feeling the same way.

After a few minutes, they found themselves approaching Tomes and Scrolls. The bookstore caught Remus’s eye, but he didn’t bring it up. As bright as Sirius was, he wasn’t the type to enjoy sitting still and reading for extended periods of time.

“Do you want to go in?” Sirius asked, pointing to the store in question. Remus must not have been as subtle with his glances as he thought he was.

“A little,” Remus said, “but we don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“Let’s go,” Sirius said determinedly. “And who says I don’t want to go?”

“Well, books aren’t exactly your favorite, are they?”

“But you’re my favorite, and books are your favorite, so we’re going in.”

“I can’t argue with that flawless logic,” Remus teased as they headed into the bookstore.

Remus paused in the doorway as soon as they stepped inside. He already loved the place. There was just something about a good bookstore that put him at ease and brightened his mood.

He caught sight of Sirius staring at him and turned to look at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” Sirius said, “you just look beautiful when you’re smiling like that.”

Remus didn’t quite believe that, but he smiled at the compliment nonetheless. “Oh—there’s a history section, over there,” Remus said, pointing at the sign. Sirius nodded, and they walked over to the back corner to look at the stacks.

Tomes and Scrolls was considerably less crowded than Honeydukes, so the two of them had the aisle to themselves. Nervously, Remus offered his hand to Sirius, and Sirius obliged and took it.

Remus looked through the titles on the shelf, recognizing a couple as their textbooks. He also saw a particularly large one that he had checked out from the library for fun during fourth year, which he recalled Sirius teasing him about. When he heard Sirius snickering to his right, he was sure he had spotted the book as well. “What are you laughing at? It was a good book!”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Sirius said as he resumed looking at the titles—but every few seconds he glanced away from the books to look at Remus. Remus didn’t mention it—if Sirius knew that Remus could see what he was doing, he might stop doing it.

After a few more minutes, Remus reached for a copy of _Quidditch Through the Ages_. “This is in much better condition than the copy at the library,” Remus said.

“Have you memorized every book at the library?” Sirius asked.

“Not yet,” Remus joked, opening the book. He and Sirius each held one side as they flipped through it. It was nice being able to share this with Sirius, and Remus was glad that he had found a book that Sirius found interesting as well, not just himself.  

…Then Sirius pointed at something funny in one of the pictures, and Remus wondered if he had even been reading the book at all. “We don’t have to stay here if you’re bored. I’d rather do something we both like.”

Sirius’s head shot up. “What? I’m not bored.”

“Sirius, it’s fine. I go to the library all the time, and it has more books than this place does anyway.” Remus could just come back to the bookstore by himself sometime if he really wanted to return.

Closing the book and shoving it back onto the shelf, Sirius frowned. “I just thought you’d like it, is all,” he muttered.

 _I did_ , Remus wanted to say, but he kept quiet as he tried to figure out what Sirius was upset about. Had he misunderstood Sirius? Did he want to stay? Clearly Sirius must not have wanted to stay too badly since he had let go of Remus’s hand and was now walking toward the door.

Remus caught up to him and started to apologize, but Sirius cut him off.

“It’s fine.”

“…It doesn’t seem fine,” Remus said as they walked down the street that suddenly felt even colder than it had felt earlier.

“It’s just…never mind,” Sirius said, ending the conversation.

Remus wished he knew what was happening. They had always had fun when they hung out together in the past. This shouldn’t be that different just because it was a date, right? But everything seemed to be going wrong, and Remus didn’t know what he had said that had messed things up. Maybe it wasn’t something he said…maybe it was just _him_.

Trying (and failing) to push that painful thought from his head, Remus looked around the street for something that might fix this. His eyes landed on Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop. That would be perfect—it was romantic, warm, and Remus could buy Sirius’s drink to repay him for the Chocolate Frog.

He suggested it to Sirius, who agreed and gave him a small smile. Since Sirius hadn’t suggested that they stop to go meet up with James and Peter instead, the date must not have been quite as much of a disaster as Remus felt that it was.

When they got inside, Remus paid for Sirius’s coffee and his own hot chocolate, and they found a small table in the back, away from the windows. Everything was going smoothly at first, but the conversation died down after a few minutes.

Remus looked around at the decorations, out the window—basically anywhere _except_ Sirius—trying to think of something to talk about. They had been best friends for years; it shouldn’t be this hard. Sirius was usually the more talkative one, but he was silent as well. Maybe he finally came to his senses and realized how boring Remus was.

Staring down at his mug, Remus tried to steady his breathing, but it wasn’t working. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. Not only was he making a fool out of himself, but he had ruined the best friendship of his life. He was an—

“Remus, are you okay?” Sirius asked, touching Remus’s hand gently.

Remus shook his head and pulled his hands away. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, not able to keep his thoughts to himself any longer.

“Wh-sorry for what?” Sirius asked, his eyes wide. “I’m the one who’s been screwing up all day.”

“What? When?” Remus didn’t know where Sirius had gotten that idea from.

“Don’t pretend like you haven’t noticed it,” Sirius said, tracing the rim of his mug with his finger. “I haven’t done anything right. I didn’t have any plan for today, I just thought, ‘oh, it’s Moony, I don’t need a plan, I’ll just know what to do because I always know what to do when I’m with him.’ But then you were there looking all beautiful and perfect and Remus-like, and I couldn’t think and I just stood there like a bloody fool.”

Remus certainly wasn’t expecting _that_. It was already unusual for the calm and confident Sirius Black to get flustered, but _Remus Lupin_ being the reason behind it seemed impossible. “I didn’t have a plan either, Sirius. And it’s my fault we ended up in that bookstore—”

“I thought you’d love the bookstore—”

“I did! But I shouldn’t have made you come in with me.”

“I wanted to,” Sirius insisted. “But I should have known you’d get annoyed about having to go in there with someone as stupid as me.”

Remus gasped. Had…had he heard Sirius correctly? Surely he had just misunderstood Sirius; there was no way he could actually believe that.

“See?” Sirius mumbled. “I don’t know why I ever thought this would work. You’re way out of my league.”

“You…you can’t be serious,” Remus said. But when Sirius didn’t even come back with his usual ‘I’m always Sirius’ pun, Remus knew that he had meant it. “ _I’m_ out of _your_ league?” Remus let out a choked laugh. “ _Me_ —the awkward, ugly werewolf who spends his Friday evenings in the library—out of _Sirius Black’s_ league?”

Sirius opened his mouth to speak again, but Remus kept going. “You’re a fool if you think you’re stupid. You’re the smartest person I know—”

“ _I’m_ the smartest person you know? Have you ever looked in the mirror?”

“I try not to,” Remus muttered, looking down to avoid seeing the pitying look that Sirius was probably giving him. “Sirius, just because you don’t spend all your time studying for classes, it doesn’t mean you’re dumb. You’re bloody brilliant, and the whole school knows it. The pranks you pull aren’t simple—it takes a pretty talented wizard to pull those off. And we never would have been able to create the Map if it wasn’t for all those Charms you did.”

Remus looked up and met his eyes. “You became an Animagus—while you were a teenager. Adults with years of training and experience have trouble with that. I know how much time that must have taken you. But you still did it. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me, Sirius. And I know James and Peter did it too, but…I’ve always sort of assumed it was your idea. It was, wasn’t it?”

With his eyes wide, Sirius nodded. “And if it had taken twice as long, I still would have done it,” he said. He reached for Remus’s hand and entwined their fingers. “Remus, you mean so much to me, and I needed you to know that you never have to go through that alone. You’re…you’re incredible—” Remus shook his head “—and I hate that you never believe me when I say that.

“I hate that you don’t like the way you look when all I can see is the perfect way your eyes scrunch up when you smile. I hate that you think being a werewolf makes you unlovable when all I see is a man who’s been through ten times as much and is ten times as strong as all the ‘great’ wizards and witches in those books you love. And I hate that you think that all that reading makes you boring when all I see is that your mind is just as beautiful as the rest of you. And…if you’ll give me another chance after this disaster of a date, I want to help you see all the wonderful things that I see in you.”

Remus took the hand that wasn’t being held by Sirius and brought it up to his mouth, trying to process everything Sirius had just said. “You…you really mean all of that?” he whispered.

“Every word,” Sirius said, squeezing Remus’s hand tighter.

Placing his other hand on Sirius’s as well, Remus sighed. “Thank you. I…I’d really like to go out with you again.”

“Oh, thank God,” Sirius said as a smile finally returned to his face.

“Hopefully next time will be better since we won’t be spending the whole time worrying over nothing,” Remus said.

“I know it will be,” Sirius said before kissing the back of Remus’s hand.

Remus bit his lip as he smiled and finally returned his hands to his mug—which was now cold. “I guess I won’t be finishing this,” he said.

Sirius nodded in agreement as he pushed his own mug toward the center of the table. “Good thing it was your money that went to waste and not mine,” he said with a wink.

“But you still had to waste your money on that candy for James—oh my God, _James_ ,” Remus said, bolting up from his chair.

Cursing, Sirius stood up as well. “How long do you think they’ve been waiting for us?”

“Too long, probably,” Remus said as they ran out the door. “Do you think there’s any chance they’d believe that we were in Honeydukes the whole time?”

“Well, it’s James and Peter…so I’d say ‘maybe,’” Sirius said between heavy breaths.

Remus laughed. “’Maybe’ is good enough for me.” They kept running down the street with the cold wind rushing around them. Still, Remus felt warm—whether it was due to the exercise or the feeling of having Sirius by his side was unclear, but he was too busy smiling to try to figure it out.


End file.
